Review: Love & Respect – by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs (Thomas Nelson)

Posted: November 2nd, 2009 | Author: | Filed under: Book Reviews | Tags: , , , , , , | No Comments »
Love & Respect

Love & Respect - by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs (Thomas Nelson)

Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

The core of Love & Respect by Dr.Eggerichs is to address the means by which couples can stay out of the “Crazy Cycle,” and enter the “Energizing Cycle.” It is based on Ephesians 5:33, Husbands love your wives… and wives respect your husbands.”

Eggerichs maintains that the key here is that women are built to love naturally, so they need to work on respecting their husbands unconditionally, and conversely that men are built to respect naturally, so their focus should be in loving unconditionally.

Being a man, and married for ten years, I can say it is not my first inclination to buy self-help books on marriage. However, I am very glad I chose this book to review. What helped me most is Eggerichs’s point that the person I am married to loves me, and though I oft misinterpret her, or fail to understand her viewpoint, she does mean well.

Also the appendices in the book are helpful with ideas that you can use to reinforce the lessons from the book.

One thing I didn’t care for is the amount of testimonials in the book. It felt almost like an infomercial at times, and I found myself skimming through them.

Thank you Thomas Nelson for allowing me to blog-review this.


Promises, Promises

Posted: September 29th, 2009 | Author: | Filed under: My Thoughts, Spirituality | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

NeverGiveUpPromises. As kids, we are taught that promises are to be taken seriously, and so we grow up trying our hardest to keep them.  Maybe it’s because we remember a promise being made to us by a parent or friend that ended up being broken, or maybe we try hard to keep them to avoid causing others disappointment. Maybe it just goes back to “Let your ‘Yes’ be yes, and your ‘No’ be no.” (Matt. 5:37)

I think sometimes that we only say “I promise” to the easy stuff.  “I promise, I’ll take out the trash before I leave.” “Tomorrow we’ll go the park, I promise!”  You know, the incidentals.  If the promise isn’t kept, it’s not a big deal.  Maybe that is where our problem started, because it seems today that promises don’t mean much at all.

Maybe the best example is that of the politicians. They make all sorts of promises to get elected, and a majority never come to fruition.  Part of that may be it is not in their sole power to deliver on them, to which I say, “Don’t make a promise you can’t keep.”  To others, I would say, “Don’t make promises you never intend on keeping.”  Either way, it really is setting a bad example.

Maybe more disheartening the example that 50+% of married adults (even Christian adults) make: “Til death do us part.”

I know, I know, crap happens, people “fall” in and out of love.  People change. People fight. People cheat.  The fact remains, a promise was made.  It’s one of the most important promises we can make, yet it is taken so lightly by so many.  If you think I am being harsh, I am, but please keep reading.

I ask a question.  Would you keep a promise, if it meant someone else being uncomfortable?

Like,  “I promise not to smoke any more.”  The chances are, if you make this promise, you will be grumpy for awhile, I know, I have been around plenty of people trying to quit.  But I have patience and tolerate them, because in the end, them keeping their promise is better for their health.  If fact, in their hardship, I even encourage them to keep this promise.

Now, would you keep your promise if it meant hurting someone’s feelings?

Scenario. “I will help you move next weekend.” Here, a promise is made to help someone, but on that day, your kids are not feeling well and your spouse asks you to stay home and help out.  What do you do? Well, you feel sympathetic toward your spouse and children, and you know it may hurt their feelings, and maybe they feel they are not number one for a few hours, but you go and help your friend move.  Why? Because your word is your word, and it sucks sometimes, but you do it.

Moving along, do you keep the promise when it causes harm to yourself?

“I promise to protect my family.”  A robber breaks in, and without hesitation, a man or woman will do whatever necessary to protect their loved ones, even if it costs them their life.  Makes sense right?  One of the most costly to follow through on, but we do the right thing, because it’s the right thing to do.

Now the difficult one: Would you keep a promise if it cost the life of your child? I know someone who did.

A man was promised that a nation would be made from his offspring, but to follow through on it, his own child had to die.  The promise was made by God, to Abram, at the cost of Jesus’ life.  Not only did God follow through on the promise, He made the promise knowing what it would cost.

Now I challenge myself and you to keep our word.  Make your yes, yes, and your no, no; especially when it comes to your marriage.  We make mistakes, I know, I have made plenty, but we can’t give up.  I doubt very highly that keeping the promise “Til death do us part” will cost us the physical lives of our children, but it is killing generations in many different ways (broken homes, broken relationships, bitterness, even hatred being passed around like Halloween candy all in the name of “What’s best for the kids” translates to “what is best for me.”).

It’s not easy sometimes, but it’s worth it.  It’s work a lot of the time, but it’s worth it.


Don't let it be said by God, "I never knew you."

Posted: August 13th, 2009 | Author: | Filed under: My Thoughts | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Saw this recently.  Wow.  About 10 minutes long, but it will really make you think about.  There is a way to pursue righteousness that leads to hell!


My marriage is better than average, is yours?

Posted: March 16th, 2008 | Author: | Filed under: My Thoughts, Spirituality | Tags: , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

This past Thursday, March 13 2007, Bethany and I celebrated our ninth year of marriage! It was a beautiful, cold March day when we were married. Bethany had just turned 18, and I was barely 21. Many people I am sure uttered the words, “They’re too young. They’ll never make it.” Ha! I laugh in your faces! Not only are we still married, we’re happy and LOVING it!

The U.S. Census Bureau released a report in 2005 stating that the average first-time marriage lasts 8 years. According to that statistic, we are BETTER THAN AVERAGE! I could have told you that, but it’s nice to back it up with some facts.9th Anniversary

It’s been a great nine years, even though the first was quite rough. We have four children ages 6, 4, 2, 1, and number five due in September.

I love ‘em, I love ‘em, I love ‘em.

The study I linked to has some interesting stuff in it. 76% of first time marriages between 1955-1959 lasted 20 years or longer, while marriages from 1975-1979 only had 58% last at least that long. Also, forget the “Seven year itch,” more first-time marriages end in year two (1 in 12 in year two as opposed to 1 in 20 in year seven).

So, to encourage all you you married people, if we can do it, anyone can. And it’s not about you, it’s about both of you.  As for words to live by, I can only speak from the husband perspective.  The Bible says to love your wife as Christ loves the church (Eph. 5:25). He laid down His life for us, so give your life for her.  He had no complaints, even though He knew it would be tough, and He still gave his life knowing He might never receive anything in return, so quit your complaining and help her out once in awhile.  Also, 1 Corinthians 13 is a great place to learn about love as well.

Peace and God bless,

- chris mooney