I think most people are crazy, maybe because I think I am, but everyone knows ‘Merry Christmas’ offends some people because the word ‘Christ’ is in it, but how does ‘Easter Egg’ offend? I don’t know, maybe we should ask the nuts at the Seattle school districts after they encouraged volunteers to refer to Easter Eggs as, get this, ‘Spring Spheres.’ Yeah, because that just rolls off the old tongue.
An article by The Star (article found here) got their information from an unnamed girl from an unnamed school, so we can only assume here, but heck, let’s ride this pony. If we are going to start renaming every holiday with any religious or offensive reference, we have to be able to do better than ‘Happy Spring Sphere Day’ or some crap like that.
So, what do you suggest? And it can be any holiday, and remember, the name can’t be offensive to anyone. here are a few of mine:
St. Valentine’s Day = “buy my wife something nice so I can get lucky day”
Ash Wednesday = “recognize that I may have offended an unnamed, possibly non existent deity or other superior life form and tell him, her, or or it that I sincerely apologize day”
St. Patrick’s Day – “Buy your friend a Guinness Day”
Memorial Day – “Celebrate those who have died to protect freedoms we are currently throwing away day”
Independence Day – “Celebrate our rebellion day”
Labor Day – “celebrate that unions can opt out of Obamacare but no one else can day”
Thanksgiving – “Thanks for ‘giving’ us all this land day”
Christmas – “Happy baby Jesus day, who may or may not have been deity, and may or may not have died for your sins if you wanted him to and if you don’t well you get to buy your kids presents today anyway since our fore fathers thought it a significant enough date to give pretty much everyone in the country a couple days off for it day
And a funny note, nothing really came up when I Googled “spring spheres.”