If I Were The Devil

Posted: March 27th, 2012 | Author: | Filed under: It Hurts So Good, Spirituality, Videos | 2 Comments »

This audio/video is a bit by legendary ABC Radio commentator Paul Harvey on  April 3, 1965. Wow if he didn’t hit the nail on the head.

If you want the transcript:

If I were the Devil . . . I mean, if I were the Prince of Darkness, I would of course, want to engulf the whole earth in darkness. I would have a third of its real estate and four-fifths of its population, but I would not be happy until I had seized the ripest apple on the tree, so I should set about however necessary to take over the United States. I would begin with a campaign of whispers. With the wisdom of a serpent, I would whisper to you as I whispered to Eve: “Do as you please.” “Do as you please.”   To the young, I would whisper, “The Bible is a myth.” I would convince them that man created God instead of the other way around. I would confide that what is bad is good, and what is good is “square”.  In the ears of the young marrieds, I would whisper that work is debasing, that cocktail parties are good for you. I would caution them not to be extreme in religion, in patriotism, in moral conduct. And the old, I would teach to pray. I would teach them to say after me: “Our Father, which art in Washington” . . .

If I were the devil, I’d educate authors in how to make lurid literature exciting so that anything else would appear dull an uninteresting. I’d threaten T.V. with dirtier movies and vice versa. And then, if I were the devil, I’d get organized. I’d infiltrate unions and urge more loafing and less work, because idle hands usually work for me. I’d peddle narcotics to whom I could. I’d sell alcohol to ladies and gentlemen of distinction. And I’d tranquilize the rest with pills. If I were the devil, I would encourage schools to refine young intellects but neglect to discipline emotions . . . let those run wild. I would designate an atheist to front for me before the highest courts in the land and I would get preachers to say “she’s right.” With flattery and promises of power, I could get the courts to rule what I construe as against God and in favor of pornography, and  thus, I would evict God from the courthouse, and then from the school house, and then from the houses of Congress and then, in His own churches I would substitute psychology for religion, and I would deify science because that way men would become smart enough to create super weapons but not wise enough to control them.

If I were Satan, I’d make the symbol of Easter an egg, and the symbol of Christmas, a bottle. If  I were the devil, I would take from those who have and I would give to those who wanted, until I had killed the incentive of the ambitious. And then, my police state would force everybody back to work. Then, I could separate families, putting children in uniform, women in coal mines, and objectors in slave camps. In other words, if I were Satan, I’d just keep on doing what he’s doing.

Paul Harvey, Good Day.


My Problem

Posted: March 15th, 2012 | Author: | Filed under: My Thoughts, Writing | 2 Comments »

So, I have been on my laptop writing for awhile tonight and my wife Beth is on the couch watching American Idol and asks, “How’s your writing going?

“I wrote a post for the blog, but didn’t like it, so I deleted it.”

“I thought you were working on your book.”

“Nope, I was writing a post about writing my book, but I thought it was crap, so I deleted it.”

“Baby, why’d you do that? You just wasted all that time (by deleting it), and it was probably great. That’s the problem you know. You critique everything to death and then you end up not doing anything.”

Wow, spot on babe. Really.

Thinking about it now, the blog post was probably OK. It was about 450 words of inspiration and motivation sweetly sewn together with metaphor. But she was right. And I encourage you not to think your way out of your dreams. Don’t over analyze until you make your dream into some impossible quest.

As for me? This post is done, and I’m going to work on the novel now.

Of Poop and Perspective…

Posted: March 5th, 2012 | Author: | Filed under: My Thoughts, Random | 2 Comments »

Jaivin, my eight year old son, walks up to me yesterday and asks, “Did you read my note yet, Daddy?”

“What note?”

“The one I left in your pocket, where you put your wallet. It’s blue.”

“Nope. I didn’t even know it was there, let me get it.” I return to the couch with a folded piece of blue construction paper and open it.

“Poop?” I ask, laughing. “What’s that all about?”

“Nooo Daddy, it says dude!”

I give him a quizzical look, flip the paper over, and sure enough, “dood.”  We laughed for a good three minutes about it. It taught me something though, about the importance of perspective. Sometimes we look at a situation and see utter and complete crap. If we turn it over and look at it a new way, we may just see it for what it truly is; an opportunity to make a difference in someone’s life, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem.

And heck, maybe you’ll be able to sit back and laugh at the poop in your life, dood.